Because Everyone Loves a Fish Story

Last Saturday, a bunch of us were out at Wes and Justine Holland’s, hanging out and digging into what it will mean to live the lives we are already living with Gospel intentionality.

But we were also fishing.  For once, I was catching more fish than Mike.  Actually he had not caught any.  I just thought I needed to make that REAL clear.  After every fish I caught I would say, “it’s all that good, clean Christian living.”  I could feel him glaring at me from the other side of the pond.

Because the Holland girls feed the fish hotdog buns, there is a trained bass who will follow you all over the pond.  Doesn’t matter what side you are on, he’s there.  Won’t bite a white grub or a rooster tail.  Nothing.  But he will try to eat any bluegill you hook.  Finally Lily Holland says, “just put some bread on your hook.”  Bread? On a rooster tail? (because I am too lazy to change hooks).  I give Mike a piece and tell him to try.  He just throws it in “to see if the bass will even go for it.”  He does.  By that time I have the bread on my hook and immediately catch him.  Mike lost his mind.  You snooze you lose.

So I start fishing out into the deeper part of the pond.  I catch 3 more bluegill.  All that good, clean Christian living!

So there’s this carp that lives in the pond.  About 30 inches long.  A monster in that small space.  All of a sudden, my bobber disappears.  Not a little jerk or a slight dip.  Gone.  I pull back and start hollering.  At first all I can see is its head, and I think I have caught some giant catfish lurking at the bottom.  Looks like you could drive a car thru its mouth.  Then he turns and I can see that carp diamond pattern.  “I’ve got Bruno!” Yeah, he has a name… because in years no one has caught him.  He’s a legend.  I get him to the bank and we are all freaking out.  Mike is crying because if I say “good clean Christian living one more time” he’s going to have to kill me… we are trying to get him to shore and then he pushes off against the bank and snaps my line like it’s nothing.  Mike is quick to say “it don’t count if you can’t get him out!”

Then 5 minutes later, Mike hooks him!  He likes hot dog buns, I guess.  Mike says, “He looked right at me and broke my line!”

I walked back up to the house to get an Ale-8 I had put in the freezer (always looking ahead…) then I hear whooping and hollering.  McKinley has hooked Bruno!  That fish is hungry… and dumb!  Never in my life had I seen what I saw… an epic battle with a fish in a farm pond.  McKinley let him take out line and Bruno fled to the deeps.  I thought we were going to have strap McKinley in to a seat to pull this monster in.  For about 10 minutes, McKinley zigged and zagged, walking around the pond.

Bruno is tiring out, coming to the surface.  What a magnificent fish!  Mike has his shoes and shirt off, keeping it country, about to jump in and grab Bruno.  Then another tremendous twist and jerk and he breaks the line again!

I thought the most redneck thing I have ever done is put bread and a bobber on a spinner bait… and caught fish that way.  Turns out there’s more… the most redneck thing I will ever do is take my marine rod to a farm pond.  With a bobber.  And hot dog buns for bait.  Bruno will be mine.  Oh yes, he will be mine.